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johngerges582
  • 50 months ago

I'm in a pretty weird mood. Tell me a joke. I want to laugh.

Comments

  • 50 months ago
  • 6 points

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

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  • 50 months ago
  • 5 points

dphillips157

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

SERIOUSLY WHO UPVOTED THIS

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Jajajajajaja

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

hey..............do u by any chance have a car.......

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Yeah...

  • 50 months ago
  • 3 points

i recommend you don't drive it for a while cause y'know..............accidents happen

  • 50 months ago
  • 4 points

A dyslexic man walks into a abr.

Donald Trump.

Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn't resistor!

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Donald Trump.

Best joke ever!!

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

So true!

Should I put Clinton on there too?

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Yes.

  • 50 months ago
  • 4 points

A drunk man walks into a priest, the drunk man says "im Jesus Christ". The priest says "No son, you're not".
Another drunk man walks into that same priest, the drunk man says "im Jesus Christ". The priest says "No son, you're not".
Yet Another drunk man walks into that same priest, the drunk man says "im Jesus Christ". The priest says "No son, you're not". The drunk man yes "Yes I am, I can show you". The drunk man leads the priest into the bar. Upon seeing the drunk man, the bartender says "Jesus Christ! You're here again?"

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

XD

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  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point
  • 50 months ago
  • 2 points

DaYan, that was a long time. WeiLong! AoLong was that? Let me tell you, those were some FangShi finger tricks there. Ok, I'll stop. Please don't AoSu.

Also...

I'm a paradox.

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

?

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Don't question the ways of the Feliks Zemdegs. Just let it happen.

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Wut? Are these some Rubik's cube players or something.

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

These are related to Rubik's cubes and people and companies. You just gotta use Google as your friend. :3

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Damn

  • 50 months ago
  • 2 points

Jesus and his twelve disciples walk into a restaurant. Jesus says to the waiter" table for 26 please" the waiter asks "what they're only 13 of you" then Jesus says "because we're all gonna sit on the same side" Get it :-P

  • 50 months ago
  • 2 points

9 years ago today I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.

  • 50 months ago
  • 2 points

And the LORD said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Thus ends the reading, Amen.

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  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Nice memes are the dankest first

  • 50 months ago
  • 2 points

Hey Mac, what are you doing?

Oh, you know, just running smoothly without any bugs or crashes. The usual. How about you PC?

I'm playing a game!

Which one?

All of them.

  • 50 months ago
  • 2 points

Lel

  • 50 months ago
  • 2 points

Oh, you know, just running smoothly without any bugs or crashes.

Tell that to the Apple Lisa when it was trying to say "Hello."

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Well she's 35 years old so ya

  • 50 months ago
  • 2 points

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know five things:

The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. The bouncer is a blonde girl. I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?” The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I have a gun

Get in the van.

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

what

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Let me ask my mom

...

She said no.

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

roses are red

violets are blue

I have five fingers

and the middle one is for you

:)

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

roses are red

violets are blue

i just ate some pizza

that I stole from you

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

roses are red

voilets are blue

I have a bomb

AKA diablotek PSU

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Good one, and it rhymes well.

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

ty ty

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

AKA diablotek PSU

Speaking of which, the Micro Center I went to on Friday had a bunch of Diablotek PSUs on the shelves at 500W for $25. Cringe cringe

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Cringe

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  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Yep. Also where they sell overpriced EVGA PSUs.

Sadly, I didn't see Logisys or LEPA PSUs in Patterson, but I did see a lot of Solid Gear PSUs lol.

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

But... Some LEPAs are good :(

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

you...........................jk

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Im not early, let me think of a joke

Your favorite tv/anime character is still alive in their series

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

cough akame ga kill cough

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

Knock knock

Who's there?

Power

Power who?

POWER!!! force lightning UNLIMITTTED POOOOOWAAAH!!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral attended by fellow physicians, family members, friends, etc. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist." That's when the proctologist fainted!

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

A dyslexic man runs into a bra

  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

So an engineer, a physicist, and a statistician are all sleeping in a hotel room when suddenly an outlet catches fire. The engineer wakes up first and says to himself "this is an electrical fire, water won't work!" And runs to grab a fire extinguisher. The physicist wakes up next and thinks to himself "we have to cut the electricity off!" And runs to the power panel in the basement. The statistician wakes up and looks around, he then screams "we need more data!!" And he sets the curtains on fire.

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  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

lmao

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  • 50 months ago
  • 1 point

I saw a simpler video for the new macbook, so funny.

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add arrow-down arrow-left arrow-right arrow-up authorcheckmark clipboard combo comment delete discord dots drag-handle dropdown-arrow errorfacebook history inbox instagram issuelink lock markup-bbcode markup-html markup-pcpp markup-cyclingbuilder markup-plain-text markup-reddit menu pin radio-button save search settings share star-empty star-full star-half switch successtag twitch twitter user warningwattage weight youtube